My story

Some things should be told, some things are not.
How can I tell my story without referring my past or my present? I don't think there's a way to it. But somehow I'm here to tell you what is me and what is my feelings.
I'll be short in words but how can I do this if there's no words left to say from me. I'm downed, I'm depressed... again. And how should I do things with this mind?
The world is dying around me and I don't know what should I do to prevent this to happen. I lost lot of what I had before. I lost my mind. I lost sense of happiness... Or not? I'm happy but I'm not and it's the biggest confusion for me. Most of the day a happy face but in the night I'm drowning in my tears. There's no way to cope with it. There's no left behind. I need to bury my way back. I should left what I had before. I should go my way. If it's here or anywhere.
But also I should left behind what I loved. Can I?